How bout a round of applause?

In Pursuit of True Happiness

So I went to an open mic restaurant with my friends Nancy and Charita. We had so much fun that day. First we went to Apple bees to eat and then we went to the club called Five Spot. So we went to that spot and it was cool, real dark and a band playing. The band was pretty nice. So we order some drinks and we just sat there....yeah, we sat there...It seemed that there was no one that looked like our "type of crowd" there. So we sat there....So about 12 am, a bunch of black people came rushing the club. Ok, they didn't rush the club, but they sure did come out of no where. So we were like this is more like it. LOL...well they started the open mic and i didn't wanna sign up. Im not really shy when it comes to singing in church but, singing outside is real scary. So finally the sign up lady kept coming to our table and insisted that we sign up. Apparently a guy heard us singing in the background of someone singing on stage....nosey people! Anyways, I decided to sing. So i had to think of a song to sing with the band before they called me. I thought of my look and my twin..Rihanna. I love the song Take a Bow. But, wait! I don't know the second verse like that. So i tell the lady and she makes this girl write it out for me. So they call ,my name a second later and the girl is not finished writing it out. I was so nervous. Im shaking in my pants and at the same time Im walking on stage without the words. OK, so I called the lady and said Where are the words?! So she ran and got the words...Ok I was ready...
"You look so dumb right now, standing outside my house..." and then came SILENCE! Oh my gosh, now I forgot the first verse. Who looks so dumb right now? ME!! Any who, Im such a G...I told the band stop and start over. lol...omg I really just did that. So the band started over. "You look so dumb right now, standing outside my house..." SILENCE! Whatever I continued. The rules say that you have one chance to make a fool of yourself. Ok i made that up but so what? Now I kept singing and I eventually got thru the song. I did real good!! "How bout a round of applause, a standing ovation?"

Third day of my trilogy

In Pursuit of True Happiness

So the final day of these "adventures" was yesterday. Yesterday was the Tye Tribbett concert and Mary Mary, and Ricky Dillard was there. It was long, long lines going around the blocks and stuff. It was so crazy. Now, Kennard got the hookups and got his mom to get us VIP tix. So we were in the front, seated in chairs and stuff with all the artists..Yes, Jezreel got it like that. Anyways the concert was so poppin...Tye Tribbett killed it of course, Ricky Dillard was OK and Mary Mary was nice. But the concert overall was nice, it was my first bug concert and I wanna do it again..lol, if you wanna know more about these adventures read my besties page. Click here...

Second Day of Trilogy

In Pursuit of True Happiness

So Sunday morning, after the concert of dedication to God for me...Jezreel had to minister at 8 o clock service. We were supposed to minister Free but Matthew said he had no voice to sing Free. But that night after the concert and after my encounter with JC, he revealed to me that Free was the song and that the people needed to free from their sins and bondage's. Ok, so we decided Free was the way to go. We came to the service and we sang Free, no we ministered Free..Many people were touched by the song. I felt that everything that happened in the concert the night before, was confirmed by that song...God works in mysterious ways...
Sunday night was the conference with a preacher named Sherlock something and he was really good. Basically I knew that God had something for me, to lift things from me and to take away unlike things from me. I felt really good after that conference and I was ready for more...

First day of my Trilogy

In Pursuit of True Happiness
So...Saturday, July 26th was the Culture day for the church El Shaddai. Jezreel, AMM and other groups had to minister. Well it was real cool, other than the fact that it was in a driveway....Umm, the food was ok, and the people were nice. Oh...Jezreel definitely came and represented. It was real nice. We sang three songs [Free, Boneless lol, and Your Joy]. The songs were nice. We sound beautiful. Kennard kinda messed up his words and he got reall upset...being that he is a perfectionist, but, we were there to support him 100%. Anyways, we left after AMM ministered, and went to Dre [from AMM] just to chill. We bought food and just chilled....It was real cool so we decided to stay the day with Matthew being that his group had to minister at a concert later that night. So, we all waited for Matthaus' father and he came and drove us to the concert venue. We came in and Jezreel sound checked the mics for some reason..lol...anyways, we sat and waited for the concert to start. So it started kinda late, you know black people time...And it was pretty good. There were a few people that stuck out to me. There was a lady that sang Encourage Yourself and she killed it...matter of fact she abolished it LOL...I was so touched, I felt a tear coming out. Also there was this guy that sang Holy by Donnie McClurkin and he sound just like Donnie. He was just kinda weird looking with a mow hawk but it doesnt matter now does it?...Umm, there was a girl named Esther Lormil [who Sam happens to be in love with] and she came with her crew and ripped the stage. She was rockin like crazy "WE ARE CHRISTIANS, MIGHTY MIGHTY CHRISTIANS"...Powerful message. They started talking about Christians that sing to each other and not to the people who need Christ. Like that makes so much sense..We hold concerts and rallies for the youth of the church who know God...Like we need to do more street evangelism...That night was so powerful and I kinda needed it. It really encouraged me to become more faithful to God and his way....I kept saying my soul says yes...in my sleep and all...powerful!!

Warming on my own...

In Pursuit of True Happiness
So the bible says one cannot warm themselves on their own...So basically we need people in our life. Sometimes people become so stressful that I feel that I dont need anyone. People let me down 24/7, so I might as well be without people. I dont need the stress in my life.Every time I get sick and go to the hospital, my doctors claim its stress related. So why do I need that extra stress...I really don't, so I'm not searching for any extra relationships in my life!! Friendly or intimately...I dont need the aggravation. Basically these are the characteristics I deal with...
a/ Theres someone that is doing wrong and as much as I try to help them to change, they keep on going back into their mess...I DON'T NEED THE STRESS
b/Theres someone who gets mad very quick over the pettiest things...I DONT NEED THE STRESS
c/Theres someone who calls me 24/7 and doesnt stop being so annoying...I DONT NEED THE STRESS
d/Theres someone who doesnt know how to keep it real, so they beat around the bush for everything...I DON'T NEED THE STRESS
e/Theres someone who feels that everyone should bow to them..I DONT NEED THE STRESS
f/Theres someone who got too attached...IDNTS
There is much more but I think you got the point...Lets say it together..I DONT NEED THE STRESS!!

How can you be tired?

In Pursuit of True Happiness
So everyone who knows me knows that I'm ALWAYS sick. People say its because I don't eat, some say its because I don't take vitamins and others say I'm "indirectly stressed"[whatever that's supposed to mean] but all of that can be factors. But....one thing that gets me going, makes me nuts, drives me up and off the walls is when my mother [my dearest mother] says "I'm sick and tired of you being sick"...How can YOU be sick and tired of ME being sick? That is not logical at all. I'm sick and tired of me being sick...I have to deal with it. Not you! People act like I ask these things on my self....Maybe when I was 5 at my big party,I blew out the candles and wished to have a sickness...OR Maybe when I was 7 and I said my prayers, I asked God to curse me instead of bless me, OR Maybe at 16 making my New Years Resolutions, my last one on the list was I need to get a sickness..NO! I didn't ask for this, so I'M sick and tired of dealing with it. Sorry I just had to vent....

Im Feeling like a Star...

In Pursuit of True Happiness

Today my mom came to me and said why don't you grow your hair? And i was sooo mad because I hate going through this with people. The first time I wanted to grow my hair was because my cousins kept saying "Your hair was so long, Y would you do that?". The second time was my ex boyfriend, who automatically came out and said "I prefer girls with long hair." And now my mother says "You look like a boy." I hate people telling me what they think if Im already happy. I wish everyone would worry about themselves and stop worrying about my hair. I feel like if Im happy, you should be happy. Its so annoying and it does nothing for my self confidence. Anyways, the only way Im growing my hair is if I want long hair. And right now, I feel like a star with short hair...=]

Gravity...

In Pursuit of True Happiness
So, yesterday I wanted to change my myspace page because my best friend Sam gave me a new website to these hot layouts. So I went out the website and found this nice layout. Its cool, and its all about summer and having a good summer blah blah blah...basically I like it alot. It has a place where I could basically blab about whatever I want. Ok, well this is not really about the profile but the song on the profile. This song is called Gravity by Sara Bareilles and she is one of my favorite singers. Her songs speak indirect truth about love and hurt and all that good stuff. But anyways, the song lyrics are speaking a girl who is in love with this guy and she cant have him for various reasons. She is talking about his gravity that keeps pulling her back down and she knows he loves her and she loves him but something is hindering them from being together. This song speaks to me sooo much because I want someone but yet I cant have them. We were together for 2 years and went our separate ways and dated other ppl but yet we still love and want each other. Its confusing and strange and at the end of the day, it hurts....

Sara Bareilles Lyrics "Gravity"

Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
CHORUS Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile. When I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
CHORUS Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me.
I live here on my knees as I Try to make you see that you're Everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe though I Can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down You're keeping me down, yeah But you're onto me, onto me and all over
Something always brings me back to you It never takes too long

In Pursuit of True Happiness
So I got some cramps and my mother went to fill my prescription for pain killers. So these pain killers came and I was hype because I was in pain...Well, you see I took the pills and the pain immediately went away after 5 minutes...So, why dont i seem enthusiastic? These pills seem so great but, (yes there is a but) the side effects are ridiculous. I am extremely drowsy. Drowsy is not even the word, I am drainnnnned....No energy, like Im not sleepy and my eyes are closing kinda thing. This is so dumb.

But guess what, I read the bottle and not only does it say take with large consumptions of food, but it says 600 MILLIGRAMS...=\

Time for Closing

In Pursuit of True Happiness

So i definitely just wrote a whole blog and it didnt go through and it definitely erased itself ,ugh...So...here it goes again.
Well Im now at a point in life where Im no longer looking for happiness thru love. I have sought for love and now that all that Ive found was all wrong, I know its time. There were two major relationships that pushed me to this "life revolution". 1. I was with my highschool sweetheart for 2 years and he is was seriously a sweetheart. The only thing is that with him I was changing myself slowly. I didnt like who I was becoming. 2. I was with my best friend for 7 months and I really thought every thing was final, this was it. But, he wasnt too mature when it came to relationships. So, everything that I searched for and found only felt like the real deal bc I was trying to fill something that I never truly felt. With all of that said, Im not at a deadend with all that finding love stuff, but you could say this is a long red light....